Citrus Sex

Raquel StecherAbout Me
Blogger at Thoughtful Eating and Vintage Brand New. Please add my to your circles.

As I was juicing some oranges for an Orange Cornmeal cake, I was thinking about how slutty oranges can be. It takes virtually no effort to get them to give up their juice. And they put out. A lot. Of juice that is.

So to continue the theme of sex and citrus I thought about all of the other citrus fruits, the relative ease or difficulty of getting out their juice and related that to societal labels of sexuality. With cultural double-standards, these labels usually apply to women. And while I abhor these labels like any modern day woman should, I do not hesitate at all using them to describe citrus fruits. Let's have a little fun!


They are the prudes of the citrus world. Their juice is delicious but good luck trying to get it out of them. You really have to work at it. Roll them, squeeze, put some real elbow grease into juicing them. When they finally put out, it's only a little bit and it's over before you know it. And no matter how many times you juice a lime, you are never truly satisfied.


Now here is a fruit you can take home to mom. You get a nice reward for your effort. Warm them up by either bringing them to room temperature or zapping them for a few seconds in the microwave and they'll put out. They play hard-to-get with their thick zest and rind but you'll be satisfied once its over. However, they are so versatile and ordinary that you may take them for granted. Don't let your eye wander over another citrus like an orange. Be faithful to your lemons!


So big and round. They just scream JUICE! But looks can be deceiving. These luscious round orbs give surprising less juice than you would expect for their size. When you await a waterfall or gusher, all that comes is a relatively small stream. Their meat is dry and their juice is acidic. But don't be turned off. Add a bit of sugar or turn up the flames and broil them a bit and the grapefruit's sweet side comes out to play.


Look at you, you slut. I just stick my citrus juicer in your flesh and an explosion of juice pours forth. It doesn't matter if your straight from the fridge or you just got plucked off a tree. Either way, you put out easily and quickly. I'm not going to judge you though. Even though everyone in America has a slice or a glass of you, your juice is still top-notch. Stand proud orange. You are the respected slut of the citrus world.


As my beau Carlos would say: MEOW!


John Hayes said...

Gives new meaning to "fresh squeezed."

Tommy Salami said...

Limes aren't prudes or frigid, they just take more time to "warm up." A little zap in the microwave, or firmly rolling them on the counter- don't be gentle, she likes it rough- and you'll get all the juice you crave.

Joy said...

A very interesting take on fruit :D

Laura said...

Of course I couldn't resist checking to see the subject of your next post! I have to admit you made me laugh! That's certainly a new way to look at fruit. :)

Best wishes,

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